Finlayson-Fife September 21st, I think a lot about sex—-although maybe not in the way that some people do. It is an elusive question sometimes as well as a painful one for many couples. While some LDS women thrived, most of the women in my research were undermined in their relationship to their own sexuality as they had internalized a message that eroticism and desire are unfeminine and risky to their desirability—a trait essential to femininity. For example, in patriarchy, men are constructed as naturally dominant, assertive, strong and inherently sexual, while women are constructed as nurturing, selfless, deferential, and virtuous. That is to say, women are taught that they are naturally less sexual than men—inherently lacking hedonistic desire, and even morally superior to the supposed depravity of male sexuality. To be feminine is to suppress or disconnect from sexual desire, or feel ashamed of its presence. This theorized suppression of sexual desire and knowledge aligned with the experiences of most LDS women in my research. It also fits with much of my LDS clientele.
But, sometimes, having sexual desires can be a problem too. For example, having an affair causes a lot of pain. Sex is a normal amount of human nature, but uncontrolled sexual desires can put you in situations you never wanted to be all the rage. Sexual desires need to be embarrass. If not, it will cause dysfunction in your relationships and mental fitness.